Day + 297

Hi everyone, long time no talk. Look at that, close to 300 days since my transplant. It's been a while since my last message and I apologize for that. As you saw then, there has been a lot going on, and it really hasn’t slowed down. I didn’t realize that once we bought this house, I’d be at Home Depot just about every day, sometimes twice a day. Not to say we have a lot of repairs to do, but you find things all over the place that you want to change to your taste. It’s been busy but it’s also been fun. Quite honestly, getting the house together and working full time has really kept me busier than I’ve been in over a year. It’s nice to be busy, but there are times where I just want to lay on the couch and read or watch tv.

So…my health. I’d love to tell you that with time things have progressively grown better and better, but that just isn’t the case. I seem to be in a long holding pattern with my health, where I just can’t get over that "feel good" hump that’s in front of me. Difficult to explain but I think you get it. I still have good days here and there, but my expectation was that by now, those good days would be increasing with the tough ones falling by the wayside. That hasn’t been the situation. In fact, over the past few weeks my tough days have become more prevalent than they have been in the past. Headaches are not going away and that overall awful feeling that I’ve described in the past has lingered on for multiple days rather than just a day here or a day there. To add to it, my muscles, joints and tendons are for whatever reason extremely tight and painful when I wake up in the morning, so just getting up and rolling out of bed is not an option. I could honestly type for hours about what this is doing to me both physically and mentally, but I’ll simply say it’s exhausting.

Some good news is that my counts continue to be right where my doctors want them to be so my medications are decreasing. In fact things are going so well on that front, that I was just recently cleared to travel domestically. This was huge news for me because it tells me that no matter how bad I’m feeling or how tough the times are I’m going through right now, my doctors see my overall health progressively getting better which means I’m getting closer and closer to being able to live a normal life. A life I seriously can’t remember. I honestly couldn’t imagine being able to jump in my car with my surfboard and head down to the beach…sitting on the sand with my shirt off enjoying the sun. paddling out and enjoying the ocean. Those times are so foreign to me right now that it is almost like a dream, but taking the step like being able to get on a plane gets me that much closer. I actually did jump in the ocean during the US Open in HB a couple of weeks ago and it was amazing. I can’t wait to get out on a board if you can’t tell. The next steps for me would be international travel, then being able to swim in a pool and then the ultimate…the ocean. I see those days getting closer and that’s what keeps me smiling. That is going to be one hell of a day.

I'm not going to lie or try to paint a rosey picture. Things are tough right now and I've been broken down at times, but there are also some very bright spots. Work is going well, I have the girl of my dreams on my arm, I live in what I consider paradise and I have the best dog anyone could ask for. Even on a bad day I have to smile at that. Thanks again for all of the support. I know I say this a million times and even that’s not enough. I can’t put into words what you all mean to me and what you have done to contribute to where I am now. See you all at Angel Stadium for the Light the Light walk next weekend. Otherwise, take care and be well.