Heartbroken is the only word I can use for how I am feeling right now. Well that is the dominant one. Others would be confused, angry, dumfounded...so many more. Van, one of my best friends passed away on what looks like Saturday night. I don’t even know what to think right now. How could this 29 year old kid with so much life, happiness and energy be gone from our lives? Nothing makes sense right now except for the fact that Van is gone and we have to accept and deal with it. Do you know how difficult that is when you are talking about someone like Van? This was a 29 year old kid who all of us yesterday just kept looking at the door expecting him to walk through yelling, “Just kidding guys”. But obviously that never happened.
So the point of this message is twofold. One is because I just need to get my thoughts down somewhere. I can’t articulate anything verbally so I guess I’ll try this. The other purpose is to let you all know what we know because Van had great friends on both coasts and across the country and it’s only right that everyone knows what happened, as far as we know this morning. What I can tell you as of now is that Van passed away peacefully on Saturday night in his home. It will be up to his family and Staci to decide how much information they want to release beyond that, but I think it’s important for everyone to know that he did pass quickly, peacefully and with no pain.
Personally, I am wrecked. I just don’t know what to do. Everyone reading this blog knows what I have been battling with for the past 8 months, but what they don’t know is the role Van had played in my recovery. Without hesitation or question I can say that Van was there EVERY time I needed him and he put me and my well being ahead of himself. That includes weekdays, weekends, mornings, afternoons, nights, didn’t matter. If he was in town and I needed anything, Van was there with a smile on his face not even questioning why he was there, just happy to be there. He was team captain for the Light the Night Walk event in which we raised close to $15k and that was all his doing. If he was out of town, it hurt him that he wasn’t there for me. That is the kind of person Van was to me personally. I will never forget his spirit, his desire to help and most of all his absolute heart of gold. I know there are stories like this with just about everyone who was fortunate enough to have Van touch their lives, this is mine. There is so much I am going to miss about him it’s not even worth listing, but that list is going to grow every day that guy isn’t in my life and it kills me to even think about it. I lost a brother on Saturday night along with a lot of other people and we’re going to have to find a way to get through this, no matter how impossible or hard it might seem. One thing I know is that Van wouldn’t want us wallowing around in our own self pity. Sorry Van, this one is going to hurt for a while so I can’t make you any promises, but I’ll try.
We’ll figure out the best way to get more information out about services, etc. I’m not sure if this is the best avenue for that or not, but feel free to check back here until we do get it figured out. Again, this will be up to Van’s family and Staci.
Van, from the bottom of my heart and everyone you touched, we will miss you my friend, very much.
The family has asked in lieu of flowers, Van would want all donations in his name to go to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. This is something Van started upon my diagnosis and his family feels he would like to see his work continued:
Donate by email: http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org Look for "How to help" section on left side of screen towards the middle/then click on "Donate"/click on "online donations" (first bullet middle of screen)/fill out form- designate your donation "in memory of":
Van Skoglund
5973 Calle Cuervo
Yorba Linda, CA 92887
OR
Donate by Phone - Call (800) 955-4572
If the donation is in memory or honor of a loved one and you would like an acknowledgement card sent to a family member informing them of your donation, please provide Van’s full name and address (above).
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37 comments:
I am so sorry Kurt. Van was an amazing person and such a great friend to you and Evey. I cannot imagine that he will not be around to see everything that I know he hoped for you. He was there day 1 of your illness and the fact he cannot see you day +200, +10 years and +50 years of you being cancer free just breaks my heart. I love you guys and know I am here for you both. We miss you Van. My prayers are with Staci, the Skoglund family, and the many many friends of Van.
I'm still in shock. I know I havent seen Van in a couple years but the time he and I had at Ingram was priceless. I cant imagine what you are going through right now Kurt, I know Van was like a brother to you. You were very lucky to have him in your corner during your recovery. I will always remeber that energy Van had that could put a smile on anybody's face on their worst day. My Family's prayers go out to you and Evey, and his entire family. I'm gonna miss "Victor".
We miss you Van....
All my prayers and love to Staci, his family and all his friends.
Tony Clark
Every time I visited you in the hospital at Saddleback, Van (and Tommy) was there - almost 24/7. Then he followed you to UCSD - he was ALWAYS there for you! I remember when he was one of your roommates in Mission Viejo, always trying to make everyone happy. Then he became Steve's roommate, and always did his damndest! This was years ago, so he's been a big part of the family for a very long time! I have your "Walk" from the OC Register on my Facebook profile with a little something I wrote to him. I know how devastated you and Steve are, and I know all of his friends feel the same way.
My thoughts today are with Staci, little sister Sarah and his family.
You're right - he'll be sorely missed!
Well said Kurt. Van's spirit will always stay with us. Mike couldn't have said it any better "Heaven just got a lot more fun". We love and miss you Vanransler!
Kacie
Kurt
We are feeling so sad ever since we heard the news yesterday. Van was totally the most likable, dependable, wonderful friend to you and your whole group. He always seemed the one who kept everyone together with all of his plans and organizing. I will always remember his greeting to me with that big smile saying "what's up Mrs. O" Such a giving person who will always be remembered. Our prayers go out to his family and your whole group of friends who will greatly miss him.
Mr. & Mrs. O
Hi Kurt,
We are in shocked and could not believe what had happened. We, here in Manila, would like to send our prayers to his family.
He's such a nice guy. He talked mostly about you when he was here, how he was looking forward to visiting Manila with you.
He rode a jeepney, he sang on the karaoke, he ate balut and drank lots of San Mig and Tanduay Rum. He had fun and we made sure of that as we have promised you.
We will miss him.
-Manila CCT
I am so sorry for your loss! Thinking of you.
Nadia
Kurt,
I was Van's neighbor for the past year or so and I know by our chats how much he cared for and loved Staci, her boys and his family and friends. He gushed when speaking of all the improvements in your health and always looked forward to going down and seeing you.
I will miss our chats but will always remember his smile. It was always there plastered across his face.
Linda Brewer
Kurt- I absolutely feel sick about this... It is an absolute tragedy and words can not express how sad I am for you and all his closest friends. Though I was not close with him like all of you I can honestly say he's someone I ALWAYS enjoyed hanging out with when given the opportunity and will miss very much. He was the kind of person that attracted people to him because of how full of life he was. What a wonderful person he was and the world will not be the same place without him in it! I can not even imagine how you must be feeling today. My heart aches for the loss... I love you guys and please know that if there is anything I can do to be there for you I will.
Love-Shannon :(
May he rest in peace!
I know just a little bit about how much he meant to you and your family. Given how sick to my stomach this news made me feel I can only imagine what you, your family and his family are going through.
We will miss you Van!
Saif
Hello Kurt,
My thoughs are with you and with Van's Family. I have fond thoughts of working with Van on his team. Those were good times. Please everybody take care of yourselves. Please get a Cholestrol test in Van's name. Take care of your heart and body. There are many silent killers out there.
Brian Einbund
Kurt,
You do not know me...I have been friends with your wife and Van for MANY MANY years....10 plus. I am feeling lost, sad, angry, and scared! I have no reason to look forward to the next Ingram event.....knowing Van will not be there to make me laugh. He was always the Positive constant.
My prayers are with you, Evey, Stacy and his family.......I cannot imagine the pain you are all feeling...knowing the pain I am feeling.
So I will now look forward to Heaven......so he can make me laugh again.
My prayers are with you all!!
Shantell Black
When I heard about Van yesterday I immediately thought about you and your close friendship. So sorry for your loss. Van was a great person and will be missed by everyone that knew him.
- Marcie
I know Evey pretty well as I have worked at Ingram for the past few years. I just wanted to take the time to comment that Van was the light of our lives here in Buffalo. There was not one person in this office whose life he did not touch and make smile. He was one of a kind and I'm extremely blessed to have been friendly with him. My thoughts are with you Kurt, Evey, Staci and the whole Skoglund family. Know every single person in Buffalo is sharing in your pain, but also reveling in our joyful memories.
-Meg Glenn - Ingram Buffalo
I heard the news yesterday and immediately thought of you, Kurt and your close relationship with Van. I know that he was a big part of your recovery. It's got to be surreal for you. It is for me and we weren't nearly as close. I'm really amazed at how many untimely deaths our old Ingram crew has endured. It does make me so thankful that you are still here and that you were able to share such a brotherly love with Van and all your other friends. Living is useless without the kinds of relationships we create and keep. My prayers are with you, Evey, Van's family and his girlfriend and family.
Lorie (Geckle) Littler
The sadness and pain I am feeling right now can't be put into words. I miss him so much and am having issues just wrapping my head around this. Van we love and miss you very much!!!
See ya on the other side.
Mike
Such an incredible loss.. I just don't know what to say. Vanransler "Van" Skoglund at just 29 years of age was such a presence, I loved hanging with Van and I will miss that big lug.. Every time I saw him Kurt he would give me the update on how you were feeling, I know he has been a rock for you. Keep your head up pal, that kid had a solid heart and a solid soul, Van is in a good place and he will be with us forever.
My heart is broken!!!!
Karan
Hi Kurt, Evey & friends. I'm so sorry. This quote from Randy Pausch is so true, " We don't beat the reaper by living longer, we beat the reaper by living well and living fully".
Lynne
Kurt, I have been following your blog for a while and am happy to hear that you are well. You've come a long way. I am in disbelief and shock to hear about Van. Although I had not seen him in years, I have the greatest memories of him and the years we worked closely together at Ingram. God bless and help you through this difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Vans loved ones. -Ruthie
Hey Van, I'm downing shots of Tequila in Costa Rica in your honor brother. The way you rolled. Your party is never going to end now bud, and when we try to party without you in the future, I'm going to always tip one down on the ground for our lost homie. We'll miss you Vanny. Stu
Kurt, Thanks for giving us a space to check in until things are settled. Keep your chin up..We are here for you
To Staci, KT and Vans Family
The Rickman family wishes you peace during this difficult time.
This world has lost one of the best. This world has a little less "personality" without Van.
Warmest regards and prayers.
Todd, Dore' and Riley.
Kurt, I'm so sorry about Van! My heart is with you, all his friends and family. I only met Van a few times, but he did have a great spirit that lit up the room. Such an amazing friend that was always there for you every moment of your journey during these past few months. The Team Chrome Dome is the legacy that Van left for all of us to continue! Again, I'm very deeply sorry!
Jana
I am completely sadden and stunned. Van was a wonderful person who made everyone smile! I will never forget his big laugh! Kurt, try to keep your strength through this. My prayers are with you and his family. As sad as I am now I have to smile for him. The thought of Van makes you smile! That's how it should always be.
Van Van the Beer Man! Cheers!
Toni
I still can't believe what happened. Kurt, my heart goes out to you and to the Skolgund family. Van was always fun to be around, he had a way of making everyone around him smile. You guys are in my prayers...I'll will miss you Vanransler!
~Cathy
How does one even start to comment on something like this. I know I don't need to say how much this guy was loved or how great of a guy he was, or how much he infected people with his fun personality... You already know that. I can just say that a guy like this is going to be missed tremendously. The only thing that I know for sure is that, if I knew Van, he is looking down on all of us, and hoping that we all took away something from having known him... I would like to think that he would want us to ENJOY life, friends, opportunities and make special moments with everyone we can, every day. I know that I have so many that I can look back on with him and while it is painful, we won't have them anymore with him, I think he would definitely want nothing more than for us to KEEP MAKING them, and ENJOY life to the fullest. I will miss you bro! See you on the other side!
-LaTourette
Kurt,
First let me say that I read your blogs and get updates about your progress all of the time. You are doing amazing and continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!!!
The news about Van was what I would call devastating and I think I, like many others, are still in shock. He called me from Buffalo, on Friday night, because I won an award at Ingram from Kingston. I will always keep that call in my mind because it was typical Van saying what a great time we will have on the trip won AND mostly because I was so lucky to get to talk to him. Van was such a charismatic and caring person and so much fun to be around. May we all remember Van and take a little of the love and friendship he spread. I will miss you Van!!!
- Stephanie Roberts
Kurt and Evey-
Though I do not know you personally Kurt, I had the pleasure of working and getting to know Evey through Ingram Micro vendor events.
Through Ingram events and Evey, I was introduced to Van in Reno, NV. Over the last year and a half, Van and I attended events in Reno, Vegas, Chicago, NYC, Miami and California and I can honestly say, they were some of the most fun times I have ever had. I spoke to Van last week and as always his advice and guidance helped me. I used to tell him often, you are a celebrity! He was a light and joy to be around.
I was shocked this afternoon upon learning of Van's passing and feel as though it is not possible.
I will miss him dearly and send my condolences to his family and friends. Van was a tremendous force to be around and made working FUN.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Ashley Loyd Fox
In the short time I’ve been with Ingram I had the opportunity to get to know Van and couldn’t feel anymore blessed than I do. Always making sure that everyone was taken care of and was the first to offer with open arms an invitation into the group just to share a good time with him. Everyone lost a fantastic guy and a great person on Saturday and we will miss him deeply.
He is looking down on all of us and would want us all to think about what we all took away from knowing him and to live life and "welcome everyone to the party" like he did.
My thoughts and prayers are with his entire family.
We’ll see you again Van ………
Kurt - Wow, I can't believe this is true. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and all his wonderful friends. I went to high school with Van and hadn't ssen him in about a year but I can tell he was the same guy by all of the comments that are posted. He will truly be missed but never forgotten.
Aubren
Hi Kurt-
I too have been reading your blogs since the very first one and have kept up on the amazing progress you have made these last 8 months. Your awesome strength and courage are an inspiration to us all.
I was so shocked when I heard about Van. I know you guys were close just by looking at the pictures you put on your site and that he was a big part of your recovery. He made us all laugh over the years and we will miss that smiling face of his. My condolences go out to his family and friends and to everyone who had the pleasure of knowing Van. Cheers bud!!
Jackie Rebhan
Kurt,Van has been keeping us in buffalo updated on you and thankfully on Friday, I asked about you and got good news from Van. I and my staff at the Hampton Inn Williamsville are in total shock and disbelief. I am heartbroken that he was taken from us. I am so glad that I got my big bear hug from him on Friday before he left. He was such a ray of sunshine in this world and he is going to be so missed by all of us. Oh the stories I could tell. I will always have a small piece of Van when I look at the hockey stick he gave me for me son. I drove him crazy for it. My prayers and thoughts go out to eryn his beloved friend, you and Vans family. God Bless and know Van is at peace in heaven and we will all see him again someday. Love and prayers, Tracy Curtin and my staff. Buffalo, NY.
I still can't find the words to express how I feel. It seems like it was just yesterday that Van and Eric was coming over my desk to ask where to go to lunch and who's turn is it to drive. I still remember telling my wife that I met this really cool white dude at work today (Ingram), Come to find out that Van would turn out to be one of my closest friends. Man!!! I will miss you brother. Hang in there Kurt, we will all remember Van and always keep him in our prayers. Condolences to the Skoglund family and Staci.
I have not seen Van in probably 15 years. I served as his substitute teacher when he was in elementary and middle school. I thought he was such a great young man. I really enjoyed him. I am so saddened by his sudden passing. I am glad to have known him, but so very sad for the family and loved ones he has left behind. My prayers to all of you. Mrs. Carmona
Kurtl- I am so sorry to hear about Van. Last time I saw him was at our wedding, seems like only yesterday. I know both you and Steve have lost a brother, but keep in mind he is in a better place and is now watching over you from above.
Stay strong, Love you, Razel
Good friends are hard to find. Greater friends are even harder. Van. You leave a big void in our lives. I'll miss the laughs, the bear hugs and the longest and biggest slice I've ever seen. Most of all, I will miss you my brother!
May you rest in peace.
To Staci and the Skoglund Family, we express our most deepest and most heartfelt condolences.
Ruel "Ru" and Holly Garcia
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