Day + 182

So I guess all good things must come to an end, especially when you’re dealing with cancer. Yes, things were going very well and everything was looking up. Counts were good, I felt like I was getting stronger and my doctors were peeling back my immuno-suppressive meds which are all very good signs. Well it’s like they say, for every two steps forward you’re probably going to have to take one step back. What the hell am I talking about you ask? Well, that pesky little sun irritation on my skin reared it’s ugly head and turned into a major problem over the course of one week. It has taken the shape of full blown rejection which needs to be aggressively taken care of now. That means my immuno-suppression drugs go back up to original levels, in addition to adding another one that I’ve never been on before. It also means that I have to start taking a crazy ass steroid pill. As a result of the steroid, I have to go back onto another drug I was completely taken off of over two months ago. So the end result is that I am on more medication now than I was when I first exited the hospital, with a page long list of side effects that go along with them. Side effects that destroy my immune system, totally mess with my moods, play with my blood sugar levels and last but not least, make it impossible to get a good night’s sleep without adding more medication, which I have yet to do. And if that’s not enough, it is throwing my blood counts all out whack so I can’t even get a good reading of what’s going on there. So as you can see, life is good.

Now I know I’m going to get through this and that all of this stuff is just another step I have to take on the road to a full recovery from this disease, but I’ll tell you, this is a massive step backwards and is a tough pill to swallow…no pun intended. It’s a strong punch in the stomach to have to take something like this. The good news is I’ll finally get rid of this skin irritation which literally spread all over my body. The bad news is all the stuff written above that has to go along with that. The bottom line is this degree of rejection cannot be messed around with so what has to be done will be done.

Once again, thank you guys for every ounce of support you have thrown and continue to throw my way. There are times where I unbelievably feel like I’m alone through all of this. And I say unbelievably because with everything I get from Evey, my family, my friends, etc., alone is the furthest thing I should be feeling. I don’t know what’s happening with me mentally, but it seems as though the further along I get through this, the more vulnerable I feel, and that is totally counterintuitive when you think that the further along I get through this, the closer I am getting to recovery. It’s all just getting more and more weird in my world which is sometimes cool, but other times…not so much. Who am I kidding, I wouldn’t wish this upon my worst enemy. Even still with all of that said, I’m out of the hospital at home with my fiancé, my family, my friends and my dog. Those are the only things necessary that should keep a man smiling…so I’m still smiling. My weight is where it should be, I can walk my dog every day and I can eat just about anything I want (though that is changing). It's been 182 days since that Swedish angel on my shoulder generously donated his stem cells and all is going relatively well. Life really isn’t all that bad, I just need to get through this, and I will.

That’s about it for now. Take care of yourselves and we’ll check in again soon with hopefully solid progress to report on. Not hopefully, definitely! Later on guys.