Day + 122

Let me start off my saying happy birthday to my girl. Have a great time tonight with the girls and be careful damn it. I can only imagine what is going to go on tonight...ha.

The cat seems to already be out of the bag as you have seen from a few of the messages, so I might as well make it official. I took a major life step on February 11th and asked Evey to marry me...she said yes. It was a really cool night down in San Clemente at a memorable spot for both Evey and I, right above the pier. We had a beautiful sunset and down on one knee I went. The rest is history my friends. We went and had a cocktail on the pier, had a great dinner at one of our favorite restaraunts in town and ended the night being engaged. We are both really excited to be on this road and I think still a little shocked, but it's good shock. I know I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her and I truley feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I guess that means it's right...right? Don't answer that, I already know the answer. So there you have it, Evey and I are engaged and we couldn't be happier.

On the medical front it has been a tough couple of weeks. I have been battling headaches and intestinal isses for what seems like two weeks straight. The headaches have been with me since my original diagnosis but since my release from the hospital, they gradually went away to the point where I completely stopped taking medication. Unfortunately they are back and I think it's due to all of the stress I've been dealing with over the past few weeks. The good news is I am betting this is only temporary and they will eventually go away as things normalize a bit in my life. Time will tell on that but I feel pretty good about it.

The intestinal issues have scared me a bit. The situation I am in I can't afford to get any sort of infections or viruses. My immune system is still not strong enough or equipped to handle anything like that. I would have to be hositalized and hit with some heavy antibiotics and whatever else is needed to take out the issue...much like what happened on Superbowl Sunday. Luckily the tests, as of yesterday, have all come back negative so I have been able to avoid that, but it still doesn't take away from the fact that things have sucked. I have felt better over the last couple of days so I can only hope this is on it's way out, but we'll see. Again, only time will tell which seems to be my story as of late.

What it does do is remind me that I am far from being done with this fight. As good as things can get for me, and there have been times where I have felt great, but as good as things can get for me, there could be tough times right around the corner...and for no apparent reason. It's just the roller coaster exerience I have written about many times in the past. I'm still on this damn ride and there really is no end in sight. My body is still dealing with the evils of the chemotherapy and radiation. Whether it comes in the form of Neuropathy which is burning sensations in my feet, headaches or the intestinal issues that have hit lately, I still have that poisen in my system and I have to understand it is going to be there for a while. All I can do is keep my head up and deal with it. Although it did force me to miss a NOFX show the other night which really bummed me out. Oh well, they'll be back.

My counts are all still looking very good which is keeping the doctors happy. My WBC had a pretty significant drop last week due to the stomach issues I had, but they are still in the good range so things are fine there. For me now it's just deaing with the tough times when they hit and keeping the good times in check, knowing that things could get bad at any moment. That's the reality of my life at this point and it ain't all that bad all things considered. I have heard some just tragic Leukemia stories these past couple of weeks. As difficult as it is to hear those stories, it helps me put my own situation into perspective which I could use every now and then.

That's about it for now guys. Better times are right around the corner, I can feel it. Take care of yourselves everyone and we'll catch up soon. -Kurt